A New York City Real Estate Broker Describes an Available Room in Foxconn Campus – Chengdu, China

+++!!!:):):) COZY SHARE AVAILABLE IMMEDIATELY IN LUXURY FOXCONN CAMPUS – Chengdu, CHINA:):):)!!!+++

RECENTLY VACATED, 2br / flex 20br — fits you and all your new friends! You’ll get along GREAT!

Be the envy of your friends. Come live in the PRIDE of CHENGDU and help build the technology of tomorrow. Get your hands on next-gen products today!

Steps to several prestigious iPad-sanding stations! NO COMMUTE! Turn the corner and you’re there! BOOM!

On-site CAFETERIA, MOVIE THEATER, and GYM! Boss says punishment push-ups? You’ll say FUNishment pushups!

100% RENOVATED AND REBUILT! Yesterday’s ashes have been swept away! Improved ventilation keeps things free of pesky aluminum dust! “These suck more,” management assures, “so you’ll explode less!”

FREE psychological counseling, new-and-improved “accident” netting, and QUICK-RESPONSE suicide crews! Keeps you safe from yourself and feeling your mental best during those 7-day work-weeks and 24-hour continuous shifts!

So fully-featured, you won’t ever leave! (Seriously. You won’t.)

Yours now for LOW LOW LOW 1-year’s-salary recruitment fee (or $5K USD)! (*engineering experience required*)

Don’t miss out on an amazing room in what is being called by some as a “pretty nice place, as giant fucking factories go.”

ONLY IN CHINA! CURRENTLY NOT AVAILABLE IN THE US!